As a coach, I often work with people who are stuck. Through coaching conversations (and quite a lot of silence) we work together to help them become unstuck and achieve their full potential. The coach plays a key role in that but the client does the work so, if you don’t currently have a coach, here are some approaches you can use to get some of the same benefits whether you are feeling stuck or seeking to change some aspect of your professional life.

In simple terms, a coaching conversation has a number of key elements which you can seek to model but the most beneficial is the creation of a reflective space – the space to think.

Simply giving yourself time to pause is a big deal. It can be as simple as stopping work on your next commute, or choosing silence instead of a podcast. Pay attention to the thoughts that emerge in the quiet.

You could try journalling – spending a little time with a pen and paper can be time really well spent.

Some people find it very useful to adopt a very free-form approach and just set out to write for a period without an agenda and – very importantly – without editing themselves.

This can be a great way of accessing thoughts and feelings that have been lurking in your sub-conscious mind. Spend some time afterwards considering what you have written, look for patterns and themes. Is there anything there that will help you understand what your next steps should be?

Others prefer a more structured approach to this sort of reflection using headings such as: What is going well in my professional life? What am I finding difficult? What would I like more of? What do I want less of?

Some other questions you might find useful to include, depending on your circumstances are:

· Which aspects of my life “light me up”?

· What am I tolerating? (Sometimes more answers arrive if you aim high: What 6 things am I tolerating)

· What three things, if I changed them tomorrow, would make the biggest difference to my life?

· Where do I see myself in 6 months/a year/3 years?

· What resources do I have to help me? (Including other people)

The precise questions will always depend on the scenario, but a good way to think about it is to “borrow” from established coaching models which tend to follow similar patterns. Most coaching models encourage the coachee to:

– Get clarity about the current situation

– Identify the preferred situation, destination or goal

– Identify what needs to happen to get there – often “thinking big” at first and then narrowing the plan down to more concrete and achievable actions.

Choose your questions and channel your thoughts along similar lines to get better results. In particular, don’t narrow down your future options too soon. There will be plenty of time to be realistic later, but it is useful to have some time to think without restrictions.

Taking your thinking forward

As with a coaching relationship, self-coaching to achieve true change requires time, effort and commitment on your part. But, the benefits are huge. Taking the time to become strategic and thoughtful about your next steps, instead of being swept along with the tide means you are much more likely to end up where you want to be instead of where others might want you to be or where fate deposits you.

The wonderful thing about both coaching and self-coaching is that it allows you to find your own solutions and your own path, rather than an external force imposing solutions on you.